Being True to Ourselves by Letting Go

Matthew 8:28-34 Jesus Restores Two Demon-Possessed Men
When he arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way. “What do you want with us, Son of God?” they shouted. “Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?”

Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. The demons begged Jesus, “If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs.”

He said to them, “Go!” So they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water. Those tending the pigs ran off, went into the town and reported all this, including what had happened to the demon-possessed men. Then the whole town went out to meet Jesus. And when they saw him, they pleaded with him to leave their region.

When Jesus casts out the demons from the two men, why did the villagers ask Jesus to leave their town? I think its because we sometimes hold onto our demons, our addictions, our false-self out of fear. We get comfortable in, and with, them. Maybe deep down, we don't want to be healed and that's why we don't let our "demons" go. That denial of healing may prevent us from being who we really are created to be. Those unhealed demons, even the relatively small ones, end up defining us... falsely.

I can see a variety of areas in my life where I resist healing. Some are more defining than others. An example that I see in myself is my need to control things in my life. This "need" is made evident to me in a lot of ways and has sometimes resulted in poor choices and setbacks. Sometimes, I see it in seemingly minor, daily things like how my mind races while attempting to meditate on scripture in prayer. Often, my mind jumps from one thing to the next, then back again, while trying to resolve some issue or concern of the day. During these times, as I attempt to quiet myself, I find it nearly impossible to rest fully in Christ while my mind attempts to solve something that certainly doesn't need to be solved in that exact moment (or something that can't be solved at all!). It isn't until I am able to release the unnecessary concerns of life that I am able to finally bring myself to rest in God. That is when my transition finally begins and healing starts to take place. But, this is a daily process of letting go and it isn't easy.

The seemingly violent ending to the pigs tells me that healing is no easy transition. Years of mental and physical behaviors don't change easily after all. They are met with resistance and back-sliding. Sometimes, it takes years of struggle to heal what ails us. People around us may contribute to that relapse or to our recovery... hopefully it's the latter. In this case the villagers' negative reaction indicates that many people around us won't be all that supportive of the changes that occur in us as we continue to transition. Perhaps those are relationships that should be reevaluated. My guess is that the two healed men left that town and followed Jesus. The account of this event in the Gospel of Mark indicates this to be the case. In fact, at least one of them started spreading the word about this healing to others.

Ultimately, Jesus didn't change who the men were. He merely removed something from them that they had acquired. So, neither are we attempting to change who we are but, we may need to let go of some things that we acquired. The things that are falsely defining us. We aren't changing who we are as much as returning to how we were created to be. Why would we want to hold onto something that isn't meant to be a part of who we are? Worse yet, why hold onto something that is preventing us from being what we are created to be? All of this is the healing process that causes us to return to our glorious, created-self. The one we were meant to be all along.

Finding Our Way By Watching How He Lived

Decades ago, a pastor friend of mine was interviewing for a church leadership position when, during his interview, he asked: “what is it that you believe?”. The answer they gave, “just come see the way we live”, provided him with great encouragement that he would find a home there. He was encouraged that this assignment would be a great fit because my friend believes that you should see what a person believes demonstrated in the way they live, not necessarily in the words they use.



The earliest followers of Jesus Christ were often called followers of The Way. The term “The Way” connotes a few things: a path/passageway and a way of being/living which is naturally connected with and through Jesus Christ. Couple this term with Jesus’ consistent instruction for his disciples to follow him and we can see that he intended that they live a life that looked and felt a lot like his. At least in those early years after Jesus’ death and resurrection, those who proclaimed a faith in Christ were witnessed by others as living a life that attempted to mimic his. To them, in addition to the God-man, he was the archetype (or perfect example) from which they formed their lives.

The Way of Jesus is The Way of Love. When asked about the supreme law of God, Jesus proclaimed simply that love of God and of one another covered everything! He was very clear in that proclamation. He didn’t stop there however… he also demonstrated these commandments in the way he lived. His parables, ministry, and final self-sacrifice pointed to one way: the Way of Love. The vision of Christ on the cross is a vision of total, self-emptying love for all of us. The Apostle Paul put it like this: “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  He didn’t put conditions on that love. It was total, it was complete and it was for us.

Paul also made the proclamation that God is love: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” It would be safe for us to assume that we separate ourselves from God when we act outside of this or when we act in self-centeredness. That is when our actions become primarily about ourselves to the exclusion of God and others. Sin begins with self-centeredness and results in our separation from our Creator.

Today, particularly in our country, we are hard-pressed to find unbelievers who proclaim Christianity as a religion displayed first in how it is lived. I'm not speaking of mindless rule abiding but, a religion marked by pure self-emptying love for the other. While none of us can live to this highest ideal, today, we seem more accepting of the faith as one where, we need only proclaim a belief and yet change nothing about ourselves or how we live. For a growing number, it is a belief system focused solely on the death and resurrection of Jesus while ignoring the rest of his earthly ministry; a focus on three days (albeit very important days) and away from his life of thirty-three years. In this, we over-simplify Jesus when we view his life and death as a mere transaction that occurred to save us and, all the while, ignore that he taught us in how we are to live (to be clear, I've spent most of my life stuck in that same mud!). Jesus Christ taught us how to live by how he loved/loves his Father and how he loved/loves us. I’m continually encouraged by that life and the lessons they contained.

I’m encouraged by a Christianity that is concerned with the protection of the least; not by a “Christianity” that is primarily concerned with protecting what is mine/ours. I’m encouraged by a Christianity that seeks justice for the poor and downtrodden; not by a “Christianity” that says it cares, as if on a checklist, but ultimately does nothing to help them. I’m encouraged by a Christianity that is willing to stand for those who don’t look like me; not a “Christianity” that isn’t enraged by the hatred/bigotry/exclusion directed toward them. I’m encouraged by a Christianity that asks me to seek a deeper understanding of the other; not a “Christianity” that is primarily concerned with justifying and defending itself to the exclusion of others. I’m simply encouraged by a Christianity that seeks to live the example set by Jesus Christ; not a “Christianity” that says it believes in him but does not seek, in humility, to follow and learn from him.

Finding Christ at the Border

Sister Norma Pimentel has devoted her life to helping the refugee.

Sitting in the usual place on the couch where I often read, write, and pray, I had just finished writing my most recent blog article, "Stay Curious, My Friend - why we should never stop seeking the truth" (click link to read prior blog). The blog entry I finished that day was about the virtue of challenging ourselves to maintain a growth mindset by avoiding our tendency to confine our opinions within our own limited individual perspectives. I had been writing that, in our angst to put closure on complex issues that are difficult to understand, we often rush to conclusions and stop listening to others (especially those who challenge our preconceived notions). Essentially, we don't like unknowns. Sometimes, they even frighten us. As an example of this, I wrote my concerns about the immigration crisis facing our nation. When the article was finished, I realized that I had only partly met my own challenge in that I still had a limited perspective. This was true even though my opinion on the immigration issue has completely changed over the course of the past 20 years... completely. And, although that meant that I had grown to be more empathetic to those seeking amnesty in the United States, I had hadn't grown through a personal experience with those who are seeking refuge here.

Immigrants and volunteers in the main lobby of the Respite Center. The young father is carrying a sign provided by the center that explains his need for help to reach his final destination.

While I already had developed a deep empathy for those families and individuals who are fleeing dangerous areas of the world, my personal experience with them was limited. While, I grew in understanding and appreciation of their desire to simply find a better life for themselves and their loved ones, I wanted a deeper understanding of them. Perhaps, I would allow myself the vulnerability to know... and maybe even love them. While my first inclination was to be with those who had been denied entry, I was hesitant to take that approach given the elevated risks in the Mexican cities bordering our country.

Alexander giving "extra" toothbrushes to

newly arriving immigrants.

Willy arrived from New Jersey in Feb during my first trip to the center. He came to New Jersey 38 years ago by way of Puerto Rico.  I was surprised to see Willy still volunteering at the center when I returned five weeks later. 

Then, I found a quiet, unassuming, yet, extraordinarily determined Catholic nun named Sister Norma Pimentel in the city of McAllen, Texas. Sister Norma is the executive director of Catholic Charities of the Rio Grande Valley Humanitarian Respite Center and one of the nation’s strongest champions of immigrants. Her center sits on the border of Mexico, in the mostly Hispanic town of McAllen on the southernmost tip of Texas. The following is an exerpt from her center's website:

"The Humanitarian Respite Center (HRC) was initiated as a direct response to the refugee relief crisis that began in June of 2014 in the Rio Grande Valley and since has served 100,000 refugees. The individuals tended to at the HRC include men, women and children. Catholic Charities of the Rio Grande Valley (CCRGV) is the first point of contact for these individuals when they are released from the immigration detention centers. CCRGV provides basic human care to refugees and their families from other countries seeking asylum in the United States. These refugees are victims of past persecution or have well-founded fear of future persecution. Refugees flee from human traffickers, domestic violence, organized crime, gang violence and extreme poverty. The HRC provides refugees compassionate care via a safe environment, legal orientation and general information, a warm meal and water, hygiene products and a warm shower, a clean change of clothes, temporary shelter, medical supplies and assistance if needed and transportation services. The target population are recently detained individuals primarily from Central America, that are about to be released by ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) and are referred to our agency from their local detention centers. 

Sr Norma watching a Homeland Security bus deliver more immigrants to the center.

The HRC receives daily groups of 80 to 200 refugees and immigrants recently released by ICE. These individuals and/or families seeking asylum arrive at different times of the day and stay approximately 24 hours at the center, before they are transported back to the McAllen Bus Station to travel to their particular final destinations. In addition to serving immigrant families, the Humanitarian Respite Center has provided a space for visiting volunteers, university students, NGO’s, Government Officials and the community at large, coming within all 50 states to learn more about immigration and the current refugee relief crisis faced at the border. This experience has also given people of all ages and professions an opportunity to foster relationships and dialogue about immigration across various local, state and national levels."

Alexander serving food to newly arriving amnesty seekers.

Upon researching the Respite Center, I discovered that Sister Norma was somewhat of a celebrity within social service circles. She had been recognized by Pope Francis for her immigration work, has been featured on all the major news outlets, and is considered an authority on the subject of the immigration crisis. Through a friend, I was able to connect with Sr Norma and was able to schedule a trip to the center during a time she would be there.  I wanted to meet her. Once scheduled, to my great appreciation, my son Alexander, expressed an interest in volunteering at the Respite Center as well. Ultimately, I took a trip in February '19 and another, with Alexander, in March '19.

Immigrants waiting their turn to

receive basic services from the

Respite Center.

Upon arriving in McAllen in February, I immediately grabbed my rental car and headed for the center. My plan was to let them know that I was in town, go to the hotel to check in, and come back to the center after grabbing a quick meal. When I entered the center, I was greeted by hundreds of immigrants and a dozen volunteers. ICE was emptying the detention center over the next few days and the center would see record numbers of asylum seekers ... 750 on that Sunday alone. The staff and volunteers sorely needed help so, I stayed. Little did I know how difficult it would be to leave this place (and it was impossible without tears).

In subsequent days, we worked with local and out-of-state volunteers delivering essentials to incoming immigrants. Next to a local middle-school student and her high school brother, we made hundreds of sandwiches. Working with a volunteers from Wisconsin, Colorado, Pennsylvania, and North Carolina, we assembled hygiene kits for new arrivals. Working with others, we confirmed bus tickets to cities across the country for these lonely immigrants to find their families. Due to the volume of immigrants (these numbers had never been seen before), the work was difficult to organize and tiring. We all just jumped in and helped however we could.

Alexander and I worked in tandem providing "new" clothes for children. Some of my favorite moments.

Inside the sheer number of people, most were families or single parents with children. Most of the children were under the age of 7. There were many young, pregnant women some who appeared to be no older than 15 or 16 years old. The stories of people escaping countries, like Honduras, because of the violence there are real. For example, women are raped or killed in Honduras without concern for repercussion because crimes against women are not often investigated. Men and women escaping with their daughters is common but, concern is for the entirety of these families due to to the extreme violence in their homeland. Gangs and drug cartels rule and the stories are horrific. These people walk, hitchhike, ride buses thousands of miles to reach the United States (amazingly, many walk nearly the entire distance). The risks and hardship are incredible, dangers and difficulties are extreme. Often, women and children are abducted and trafficked along the way. Tears well in the eyes of the men who tell of the difficulties they have endured. When they finally reach the border (1,800 miles from Nicaragua, for example), the cartels may determine whether they can approach the legal ports of entry. Others risk their lives to cross the Rio Grande river to get here. When they reach the banks of the river, they are met by the border patrol and typically surrender. Afterward, all are held in detention until it is determined whether they are allowed to stay (temporarily). If they are eligible to stay, they will be assigned a court date for amnesty hearing and typically stay with family within the United States. Others, if returned to Mexico, are sent to the increasingly dangerous city of Reynosa.

At the Respite Center, I was met by ICE and Border Patrol officers who would report the number of immigrants they were about to deliver - we typically welcomed groups of 50-100 at a time. It is important to note that my experience with the officers was nothing but positive. In fact, I had a very heartfelt exchange with one of them just this week. They are civil servants with difficult responsibilities. It is hard to describe the level of gratitude, expressed by the immigrants, for the most basic things we provided. Shoelaces, soap, deodorant were met with humble thankfulness. Perhaps the most sincere gratitude was when we offered a hardy "Bienvinidos a los United States (Welcome to the United States)". The broad grins were evidence of their relief to be welcomed in such a manner. They hunger for it. After the gravity of this responsibility sat in, I began taking this role very seriously. As the teams of people walked into the center, we would welcome them enthusiastically. During my first visit, Sister Sally from the Sisters of Charity said she nearly cried when we offered this warm welcome to these poor, hurting people. Perhaps, I would offer a "mi amigo" and pat on the back to the men. Perhaps, I would offer extra encouragement to the exhausted young mothers carrying their children. How long have they been holding them? I can still see the often sunken eyes and tired expressions on their faces. But, their fading expressions would always disappear when they understood that we cared.

The Catholic Charities Humanitarian Respite Center was founded by Sister Norma Pimentel in 2014 to serve the basic needs of newly arriving

refugees.

At one point during a particularly busy day, I was standing shoulder to shoulder with dozens of our Central American guests when I suddenly felt connected to them in a way that I still struggle putting into words. I guess the simplest way to describe what I felt was a unity that transcends the body, color of skin, nation of origin, language or culture. I saw us as I can only imagine God sees us: as separate individuals joined together in his eyes and heart. Separate and yet one - each of us loved beyond my comprehension and unified under God. Unified in a way that invisible boundaries do not affect.

I gained a deeper knowing that, if I failed to recognize anything less than our equal and unified value, I was denying that God is ultimately and infinitely truth... and ultimately and infinitely present in each of us. I was overwhelmed in the knowing that God loves people, such as these, every bit as much as he loves you and me. I was stunned and overwhelmed that I could know even more of what I already knew was true: that we are all made in the image of God and that we are equally and infinitely loved.

Before our last departure, I walked the perimeter of the building to pray for those who serve and those who are served. I was met by Willy (seen in one of the pictures above) near the entrance and listened to him deliver a passionate mini-sermon, fueled by his passion for the people he had been serving for the past six weeks) on how we, who have much, should be more thankful. This was a sort of prayer, I thought... so, I listened to him. With a hug, I bid him a final farewell. Still praying, I walked through the center. I was met by two families that were in need of clothes for their very young children. This was a sort of prayer, I thought... so, I helped them. After helping the mothers pick out some clothes leaving was more difficult than I expected. Again, it was impossible without tears. I cried deeply  It was early evening when we departed. We were tired but, fulfilled.

Matthew 25:40 'The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Stay Curious, My Friend - why we should never stop seeking the truth

A pretty universal statement here but, I think it's true: almost everyone has a tendency to view issues from their own very limited perspective. That perspective is formed by our individual background, conditioning, environment, experiences, etc. It is that with which we are most familiar and it is where we go when dealing with unknowns. These can be morphed into "belief systems" which still have a tendency to be weighted toward our own individual experience. We gravitate to these places because that is where we are most secure and confident. To venture outside of this space can be rather scary and this fear leads to a reluctance to seriously consider another position on a topic - or another person's point of view. All of this is especially true when that point of view, with all of its background, conditioning, and environment, is vastly different than our own.

In the Gospel of Mark, after feeding the five thousand (also known as the Multiplication of the Loaves and Fish), Jesus sent his disciples onto a boat while he went up the mountain to pray. As the disciples were in the middle of the lake, they struggled with the wind that had subsequently picked-up speed. Jesus saw the disciples and walked onto the water toward them. When he came to them, the disciples were afraid thinking he was a ghost. After he told them who he was in order to settle their fears, he climbed into the boat, and the winds subsided. Then a sentence that I've never really noticed in the Bible stated that the disciples were “very amazed because they didn't understand what had happened with the loaves; their hearts had hardened”. Their hearts had hardened, causing them to be amazed at what had just happened, because they didn't understand what happened with the loaves? That's extremely interesting to me and I've reflected on that a lot. I've reflected on how this might apply to our own tendency to lock-in on an assessment, based on our limited understanding, or opinion when dealing with complex situations.



The disciples were amazed when the Jesus walked on water and the wind subsided because they didn't understand what happened with the loaves earlier that day. It was too big to comprehend who Jesus was and the miracles he had just performed. Jesus continued to challenge his disciples to think outside of the box of their past experiences and to consider a new way of thinking. We do the same thing as the disciples in dealing with even much smaller unknowns, by trying to eliminate them. We try to eliminate them by building our knowledge base around our "definitives". And, if we don't know all the facts (which we almost never do), we build false definitives to fill in the blanks. Then we harden our hearts there and stop seeking a better understanding. This tendency becomes even worse when the false definitive morphs into fear.

In considering an example, I think of topics such as border security where it seems we've lost our ability to wonder and sense of imagination. We have lost a curiosity about the truth that might cause us to seek the perspective of others. Many Christians now talk about protection and security (which, again, is mostly about us) without adjoining that conversation with an overwhelming curiosity for the perspective of others - particularly those who are hurting just outside our borders. The cries of those who are seeking refuge here are becoming inaudible to many Christians as is evidenced by the political discourse. This is a natural fear-based tendency when we don't understand the world around us. We sort of turn-off our imagination and begin forming our boundary of beliefs based upon a very limited perspective. We form our opinions and boundaries around what we think is reasonable and, in a sense, our hearts harden there. We surround ourselves with those who reinforce our point of view. At that point, we stop seeking the truth; we seek a reverberation of ourselves from others. Our imagination sort of dries up because we're not comfortable with the uncertainty of things. We cease exploring different perspectives and our hearts harden to our detriment and, worse yet, to the detriment of others. It seems that we should be, at a minimum, deeply concerned about those who are suffering and seeking asylum. At our best, we would be actively trying to help them.

"Many Christians now talk about protection and security (which, again, is mostly about us) without adjoining that conversation with an overwhelming curiosity for the perspective of others - particularly those who are hurting just outside our borders."

I don't pretend to know the answers to the current dilemma. We have a right to (and responsibility for) some level of protection / security. I help provide these for my family through many different measures - likewise, we need to provide similar protections to our citizens from any criminal element. But, we should never grow so consumed with those measures that we stop being concerned with the well-being of those who are hurting nor should we retreat into paralyzing fear. If we're not adjoining the conversation of security with the idea of helping those who are in pain and mourning, we not only lack understanding of what happened with the loaves, we've have hardened our hearts and have stopped seeking the truth. Then, we risk not understanding the Good News that Jesus came to preach to all who are poor. After the storm, the disciples didn't stop seeking a better understanding to broaden their perspectives. They continued seeking because Jesus challenged them to do so. Today's Christian has the same challenge and responsibility as those early believers: to grow in spirit and understanding followed by the act of providing a beacon of hope for those who need it. Yes, it is a much scarier trip than staying in our comfort place but, that's why we are called to have faith and to trust not in our own inclinations.